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Sep 26

Five Fashion Facts Video Games and Comics Don’t Want You To Know

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Got just a wee bit sick of seeing character costume and design never figure in logic. I’ve got some news for  you, character designers, we ladies may love our fashion, but we figure in the practicality of things too–especially if we’re supposed to be fighting crime, raiding tombs or tormenting a hero all day.  So I’ve listed five trends I’ve seen in female character design that drive me absolutely bonkers because they neglect to remind you of the downsides.

Fashion isn’t just about form, bitches–we care about function too.

 

 

1. Thigh Gun Holsters

Any time you see a woman running around with guns in a video game or comic, you’ll notice she usually has them holstered to her thigh. And why not? It keeps them easily accessible, it draws attention to the heroine’s legs…

Except there is one problem. Guns? They’re heavy. REALLY heavy. Even those little pistols that they’re whipping out of their cleavage.

So when you decide to put something heavy in a location that is below your center of gravity, it can feel a little awkward. Like wearing a diaper. A big heavy diaper that will pull and sag and chafe in ways you never thought a woman as hot as Lara Croft would ever have to deal with.

 

2. Bikini Tops

For some reason, I’ve been seeing a lot of bikini tops that don’t cover the lower half of the breast.Yes, comic-book artist, I get it–you want to show your readers as much boob without crossing into nipple territory.

But here’s the thing that kind of gets in the way: logic. See, like guns, breasts have weight. The bigger the boob–the heavier it is. They do not float and they do not move with just a gentle breeze, no matter what “Dead or Alive Extreme Beach Volley Ball” wants you to think.

So you have breasts that gravity is pulling downward counteracted by a flimsy piece of material that isn’t even positioned correctly? No, I’m sorry, gravity would win. For this bikini to actually be secured enough to stay in place, the fabric would have to dig into the skin to achieve what is depicted in this picture. And trust me, no matter how great your body is, if strings are digging into you–it’s not attractive. You wouldn’t go swimming in something like this, because even just a shift of your torso would pop that top upwards in an insta-wardrobe malfunction.

No one but women in porn or cheesecake photo shoots wear bikini tops like this. Please stop pretending like they have practical use.

 

3. Corsets

Now, I love corsets. I will be the first person to say corsets are amazing and every woman should own at least one.

HOWEVER, I’m a little sick of seeing some of our favorite ladies wearing them but not abiding by one of the first things you learn when you put one on: YOU CANNOT MOVE!

So all that ‘running, jumping, climbing trees’ business is impossible to do while wearing an actual corset. I mean, you could try–but being unable to move your torso kinda inhibits that. Also getting everything squished together can do some pretty unpleasant things when you do attempt to bend. Yet if you look at our lovely gal Harley here, you’ll notice her stomach looks fine–no pressure, no pudge–no sign that she’s wearing any kind of restricting wear right above her bellybutton…

 

4. The Catsuit

Leather, PVC, it’s super sexy. We know this.

But what they don’t want you to know is neither leather nor PVC breathe. Which means you’re sweating like crazy. Sweating so much in fact that by the time you take it off you not only have a thick layer of perspiration on your skin, but you smell like an old sock.

Super sexy, right?

Yeah, no…

The sad thing about catsuits is that they’re sexy and thus make you want sex but… by the time you get one off, you feel absolutely disgusting and just in need of a nice long hot shower.

 

5. Fabric Structure

The one thing that comic books and video games seem to forget constantly is the way fabric works.

In no way do I condone the use of spandex, but I would at least like it to be portrayed in an honest manner. If your costume is showing every little muscle detail due to the clingy thin fabric, guess what else it’s going to show?

EVERYTHING ELSE.

For once I’m actually going to encourage you to look at this chick’s chest. Why? Because you’ll notice you can see every curve of her body… with the exception of her bra.

“Well she may not be wearing one,” you may say to which I would roll my eyes at you. Anyone with boobs will tell you they need support–especially if you’re going out and playing super hero. Also, if she wasn’t wearing a bra, you’d see nipple. If you can see the full depth of her freaking belly button in that costume, you’d see nipple–let alone a bra and panty line.

I remember (foolishly) having this conversation with Psyfallen and Lawjick who were confused that I seemed to be advocating for nipple in comics.

No, that’s not the point. The point is consistency. Stop giving the illusion that someone is going to put on some spandex and have all the good things highlighted but all of the bad just vanish. Trust me, cosplayers, it don’t work that way.

8 comments

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  1. Robert M.

    Not to mention, any gun fired enough times to generate smoke is going to have a very HOT barrel. We certainly don’t see any barrel burns. :o

    1. Karma

      Ouch! Seriously.

    2. 435

      Shouldn’t be enough of the barrel sticking out of the holster to have that issue.

  2. @Psyfallen

    And nary a mention of camel toe. Until now.

  3. @Psyfallen

    Ugh, Really? WHY!!!

    1. Lawjick

      Lawlzerkats

  4. 435

    If a heroine (or a cosplayer of said heroine) is to have pistols, the drop holster is going to be far better at allowing the use of the weapons while maintaining maneuverability. Shoulder holsters flop around when you have to move, and, under certain conditions, can even slip off. It’s basically a vest, after all, and the weapon itself can slap across ribs and bruise them, and, for bustier characters, can prevent a good draw from happening. Spiky metal bits and flesh don’t function well together.

    A traditional holster suffers all the issues you mentioned. Meanwhile, a properly fitted drop holster should alleviate many of those issues by distributing weight better. Watch a cop run with a traditional belt on, and he has to keep his hand on his firearm at all times, lest the vigorous action causes the weapon to flop out onto the ground. A tactical drop holster fixes this issue.

    The design issue isn’t the holster, it’s the hotpants below it. That and weapons akimbo. :x

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