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Oct 14

Et Tu DiGiornos?

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Four pieces of pepperoniSo I like DiGiornos. They make some pretty good frozen pizzas, and I have to give them credit for being one of the innovators in the frozen pizza space. But this madness needs to stop.

I was unpacking one of their personal sized frozen pies for my consumption the other night, when I was dismayed to notice that there were only 4 pieces of pepperoni on my pepperoni pizza. There are usually five. There have always been 5. WTF. So I cut them some slack…. Maybe their manufacturing processes have slipped. Maybe the machine that spits out the slices of pepperoni was having a bad day. The gods were frowning upon me that day. Whatever. I moved on. I don’t let these little mishaps ruin my day. I just sprinkled on my red pepper flakes and went about my merry way.

… but tonight. Tonight I again find myself opening up a DiGiornos personal size pepperoni pizza and what do I find? Yup. Four fucking pieces of pepperoni. Four. Really DiGiornos? Some VP at your company decided you need to save .0429 cents on production costs per pizza and your approach is to reduce the number of pepperoni from five to four. Four. Really? You’re already raping me an extra $.50 for the pepperoni over the cost of one of your cheese pizzas. Throw me a bone here. Was that gluttonous fifth piece of pepperoni really breaking the bank over there at DiGiornos HQ? What’s next?

You’ve essentially reduced the very essence of my pizza by 20%… totally messing with my cheese-to-pepperoni surface ratios! They’re fucked now, thanks. Way out of whack. On top of all the other crap I need to deal with, I now have to acclimate myself to getting 20% less pepperoni per bite when I eat your delicious little pizzas. Bravo DiGiornos, bravo. May your profit margins soar due to your pepperoni reduction cost savings.

@SeattleDre

 

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