Jun 21

The Geek Gal’s Lament

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Remember me?

I’m that girl who was sitting in the Barnes and Noble Starbucks nose-deep in an Austen novel.

You said you liked my Zelda t-shirt and we talked for the two minutes it took the barista to make your drink? We shared a rapport about how fantastic Ocarina of Time was, how much of a chore the time trial that was Majora’s Mask was—how Zelda 2 was the hardest game ever inflicted on geek-kind.

You sheepishly excused yourself when your drink was called and then you just left as if you had nothing left you could talk to me about.

Look, while my shirt may be emblazoned with the tri-force, tell you ten things I learned from LoZ and proclaim to the world that I am the chosen one, it certainly hasn’t told you the whole story. For instance, did it tell you that I’m lactose intolerant, or that I know how to juggle?

I doubt it.

What my t-shirt didn’t tell you is that I like to drive barefoot. It didn’t mention that I love old school point-and-click adventure games, or confess that I can recite The Princess Bride word for word. It didn’t inform you that I’m an only child, or that my middle name is something embarrassing like Gladys or Gertrude. And it certainly won’t bring up the endless struggle of having friends who like Star Trek and friends who like Star Wars and being stuck in the middle because I love both.

However, most importantly of all, what my t-shirt didn’t tell you is that had you stayed, had you mustered up the self-esteem to sit down and talk with me and even ask for my number, I would have said yes. And I would have rocked your fucking world.

So the next time you feel inclined to talk to someone like me but hesitate, let me give you this sound advice: Don’t. Sit down. Have a latte. Let’s chat. Who knows where it could go from there.


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  1. @Psyfallen

    I don’t know, as a guy, I always find it hard to tell if the girl I’m talking to is just into idle banter or if we might actually be connecting. I find the female of the species rather hard to read unless they’re being obvious.

    It’s kind of like the “barista crush” phenomenon, where the lines between “are we connecting?” and customer service gets confusing. There is no other place of employment that causes more crushes than a coffee shop. “She remembers my order, she must like me.”

    I vote for an initiative to wear “Yes, I’m single” name tags. It would at least take some of the guessing out of the equation and avoid some embarrassing situations.

    As Dre would say “Level Playing field.”

  2. @Psyfallen

    Omg comment rainbow. WTF?

    1. Karma

      Welcome to my world, Psy.

      1. Lawjick

        …did I do this on accident, or did you do that on purpose? o.0

        1. @Psyfallen

          This is the only comments I have seen which are rainbow filled.

          1. @4thirty5

            Well, congratulations. Your comments are now fabulous.

  3. @4thirty5

    There are those of us derp-filled men who consistently have that nagging doubt in the back of their head that says, “hey, there’s no chance here, move on.” Sometimes this is a learned response, gained after a number of rejections or genuine miscommunications. Sometimes it’s just a crushing lack of self-esteem. But in the end, in this situation… at that last moment, just before the courage kicks in, we convince ourselves that we have misread the situation. And thus, in order to avoid the right-cross to our ego, we pull away and let it go.

    I hate being in awkward situations myself, and there’s nothing more awkward than being shot down in a public setting. It’s why some of us stay Forever_Alone. ._.

  4. kriscrat

    I’m on the mobile site. No rainbows here. :(

    Communication panties for all is my vote. If you’re interested, girl or boy, put it out there. You only have to be successful once. (Or maybe a few times. If you’re into that.)

    1. Lawjick

      …communication panties?

  5. kriscrat

    Ask Peanut Bee

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