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Jul 30

[R3D4CT3D] GDP – STUPID BUGS

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<GREETINGS AND SALUATIONS target = ‘READER’>

LAWJICK IS STILL OUT OF THE LABORATORY. HIS ESTIMATED TIME OF RETURN IS MONDAY.

AS PER THE BATCH FILE INSTRUCTIONS I AM TO FORMULATE ANOTHER ARTICLE IN HIS ABSENCE.

>> ACCESSING RECENTLY DELETED MESSAGE FILES…

>> OPENING MMS MESSAGE DUMP FILE…

Lawjick-

What’s the deal with all these damned dragonflies?

-Your New Lab Partner

>> GENERATING AUTOMATED RESPONSE…

DEAR ATTEMPTED REPLACEMENT LABORATORY ASSISTANT-

THE ARMOR WORN ABOVE WAS EXTREMELY HEAVY AND THUSLY THE WIZARD NEVER ACTUALLY STEPPED THROUGH THE PORTAL BUT INSTEAD SIMPLY VIEWED PASSERS BY MENACINGLY

DRAGONFLIES ARE THE RESULT OF AN INTERDIMENSIONAL GATE LEFT OPEN.  THE END IN THIS UNIVERSE WAS OPENED BY AN EASILY DISTRACTED HYPERTOPOLOGICAL PHYSICIST. THE OTHER END WAS OPENED BY A LAZY WIZARD IN AN ALTERNATIVE DIMENSION WHERE MAGIC WAS NOT OVERTAKEN BY HIGHLY REGIMENTED SCIENCE. IN A STRANGE MULTIDIMENSIONAL FLUKE BOTH ENDS WERE OPENED AT THE EXACT SAME TIME RELATIVE TO EACH OTHER ALLOWING FREE TRAVEL BETWEEN THE TWO.

HOWEVER THE LAZINESS AND DISTRACTABILITY OF THOSE INVOLVED IN THIS ALLOWED FOR A SCALING ERROR WHEREIN MATTER TRAVELING FROM THE MORE FANTASTIC REALM BECOME SMALLER IN RELATION TO THE SCIENTIFIC REALM.

A FLOCK OF DRAGONS FELT THE WAVE ACROSS THE AETHER OF THEIR OWN DIMENSION AS THE GATE WAS OPENED AND FLEW TOWARD IT IN A VEIN ATTEMPT TO EXPAND THEIR OWN POWER.

ARTISTIC RENDERING OF THE CROSS DIMENSION EVENT

THE MASSIVE DRAGONS FLEW PAST THE SLEEPING SORCERER UNNOTICED AND INTO THE SWIRLING VORTEX INTO OUR DIMENSION. THERE THEY DISCOVERED THE FIRST BEING THAT THEY WERE ABLE MATE WITH: THE COMMON HOUSEFLY.

NOTABLE: EARLY CROSS-SPECIES/DIMENSION BREEDING ATTEMPTS WERE LESS THAN SUCCESSFUL

AS GENERATIONS OF CROSS BREEDING OCCURRED MANY OF THE GENETIC INCOMPATABILITES WERE SMOOTHED OUT.

AS THERE WERE A NUMBER OF DRACONIC SPECIES THAT INITIALLY FLEW THROUGH THE GATE THERE ARE NOW MANY DIFFERENT VARIETIES OF DRAGONGLIES ON EARTH. IT IS WELL KNOWN THAT THE DRACONIC HATRED TOWARD VARIOUS TYPES OF DRAGONS. THIS HATRED HAS REMAINED AS PART OF THE DRAGONFLYS GENETIC MEMORIES. UNFORTUNATELY FOR THESE DRAGONFLIES THEY DO NOT HAVE THE SAME POWERS AS THEIR ANCESTORS (I.E. FROSTBREATH; FIREBREATH; +5 MAGIC RESISTANCE; ETC).
IT SHOULD ALSO BE NOTED THAT THE OTHER DIMENSION WAS RENDERED LIFELESS AS THE GATE WAS OPENED IN A HORIZONTAL POSITION WITHIN THE GARBAGE BIN OF THE HYPERTOPOLOGICAL PHYSICIST IN OUR OWN DIMENSION.  WHILE THE SCIENTIST WAS WONDERING WHY HE NEVER HAD TO TAKE OUT THE GARBAGE THE OTHER WORLD WAS DEALING WITH GIANT ROTTING FRUIT.
CONCLUSIONARY STATEMENT: DRAGONFLIES AND PLANETARY GENOCIDE ARE PART OF THE RESULT OF LAZINESS AND SHINY OBJECTS.
REGARDS
LAWJICK (INTERPRETED WHILE INTOXICATED)
>> END AUTOMATED RESPONSE
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