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Aug 02

#SharkWeek + Internet Love = Shark Porn

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Pirates vs. Ninja's? Pfft. Dolphins vs. Sharks is where it's at. (DC Comics, Brave and the Bold #126)

Oh, the things we find on the Internet.

I’ve been continuing my Shark Week musings online by doing the most predictable thing possible. Obviously, that would be Googling “crazy shark attack” and then watching all the videos that show up.

My favorite: “Here comes the big hammerhead!”

First of all, that shark is huge. Why would these people want to put their hands in the water? Some people like getting nommed on for baller status, I guess. I am also  in love with the fact that many photos were shot during the video by the squealing girl. Apparently, bragging rights via Facebook photos are more important than we thought.

I also managed to make my way over to a video of dolphins defending humans from sharks. This is pretty epic–and also educational. The soothing narrative makes me feel intellectual while surfing the web.

Go dolphins, go!

Can’t give dolphins all the credit, though. Or at least, that’s how I felt when I saw that YouTube suggested this video of dolphins attacking humans to me:

Even dolphins need love sometimes. I guess if you get rescued from a shark, you could at least put out. This video would have been better if it was put to some music, though:

Just don’t find a psychotic bitch of a dolphin, I guess. Also, three-ways with dolphins will not end well. Learn it from Haddaway, folks. In the mean time, feast your eyes on the best fucking strawberry sharkcake ever.

Edit: Don’t forget about the mariachi band serenading a beluga whale. My only question is: Where are the mukluks?

 

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