Geek vs Life

*Begin Communication*

Psyfall (Jon) says:

Joe and I don’t like doing things the easy way. Last week we got the chance to see Spiderman 3 at the Cinerama with our fellow peers from the media. We wanted to write a review that would be both unique in it’s content but also in it’s format. Geeks that we are we decided to write it over instant messenger. In a Country/Western bar in Queen Anne on karaoke night.

Grand Poobah (Joe) says:

This was the worst idea ever.

Psyfall (Jon) says:

<Orders a Mac and Jack, and a Stella for Joe>Better?

Grand Poobah (Joe) says:

As long as it drowns out the noise. They call that singing?

Psyfall (Jon) says:

With the amount of crap we had to sit through while watching Spiderman 3, could there be a more fitting place though?

Grand Poobah (Joe) says:

Honestly, I’m more impressed with the dancing here than I was with the dancing in the movie.

Psyfall (Jon) says:

Yes there was that massive dance number performed by an emo Tobey Maguire (AKA Peter Parker, AKA Spiderman). The horrors.

Grand Poobah (Joe) says:

Overall, the graphics of the movie were really well done, but in that scene, it looked like something from the Munsters. And the hairstyle was utterly ridiculous.

Psyfall (Jon) says:

Another positive note that should not be ignored is that for once, the villains who teamed-up actually formed a cohesive unit.

Grand Poobah (Joe) says:

Though, the outcome of the fight in which they formed a functional duo, was what warped the movie into a buddy flick.

Psyfall (Jon) says:

Yes but let’s leave the spoilers out. Wouldn’t want to scare away too many people. Although… it might be a good thing.

Psyfall (Jon) says:

Maybe it’s just me, was I just expecting too much? Was it really too much to wish for more from (director) Sam Raimi? This isn’t the same situation as with X-Men 3 where the directors changed before the third movie so Bryan Singer could go direct Superman Returns by replacing him with that Rush Hour guy, Brent Ratner.

Grand Poobah (Joe) says:

It comes down to writing. Sam Raimi is an awesome director, but him and Ivan just shouldn’t write.

Psyfall (Jon) says:

Speaking of story, this plot line had more holes than a cheese grater.

Grand Poobah (Joe) says:

The timeline of the movies were changed no less than 2 times during the course of the latest installment.

Psyfall (Jon) says:

<stops review to sing along with some guy named Sean singing Creep by Radiohead>

Psyfall (Jon) says

<orders whiskey and diet coke>

Grand Poobah (Joe) says:

<chugs beer>

Grand Poobah (Joe) says:

Oh dear lord, do you have to keep singing?!?

Psyfall (Jon) says:

Yes, if Kirsten Dunst gets to sing so do I damnit! She was dubbed right?

Grand Poobah (Joe) says:

If she was, neither was very good. Like you.

Psyfall (Jon) says:

You’re just jealous.

Grand Poobah (Joe) says:

Jealous of you, or Kirsten?

Psyfall (Jon) says:

I think that the only salvaging point of the movie is the CGI. Can we agree on that at least?

Psyfall (Jon) says:

For example: the out of control crane scene.

Grand Poobah (Joe) says:

Yes. The CGI was well done. Between Gwen Stacy (played by a rather well crafted Bryce Dallas Howard) falling out of a building and beautifully done Venom (Topher Grace) and Sandman (Thomas Haden Church), it was visually impressive overall.

Psyfall (Jon) says:

Going back to our comic book lore, I was sure she was going to die before the end of the movie. Will that be the storyline for Spiderman 4? Seeing how everyone loves Spiderman in the third movie, Gwen Stacy dies in the third one because of Spidey, the chief of police, her dad, goes on a rampage to hunt him down and enlists the help of man created powered mercenaries such as the Scorpion and Electro.

Grand Poobah (Joe) says:

Possible, but what I want to see is the Sinister Six.

Psyfall (Jon) says:

We all want to see the Sinister 6. They are saving it for the 6th one. Sinister 6 and sixth part work well together.

Grand Poobah (Joe) says:

That is all riding on whether or not the franchise can survive the treatments they’ve been getting. If this pattern continues, we won’t see a sixth.

Psyfall (Jon) says:

Magguire had a three movie contract, he will probably demand more than the producers are willing to spend.

Psyfall (Jon) says:

<orders a Vodka Cran>

Grand Poobah (Joe) says:

<chugs another beer, and is offended by the anti-long haired sentiment by the current kareoke “singer”>

Psyfall (Jon) says:

<Screams out at the Okie from Muskogee>

Grand Poobah (Joe) says:

In summary, before I rip my own ears out, I wouldn’t suggest seeing this movie unless you’re seeing it for free, and you have <i>absolutely</i> nothing better to do. It was the longest 140 minutes ever.

Psyfall (Jon) says:

I agree. At least it was pretty movie. But the story lacked any semblance cohesion or logic.

Grand Poobah (Joe) says:

I wouldn’t suggest this movie to anyone, especially to comic fans, or even fans of the first two.

Psyfall (Jon) says:

I am a massive comic book geek, I still own most of comic book collection to the grand chagrin of my girlfriend. I sat through both versions of The Punisher and even I can’t recommend this movie to anyone. It was just that bad.

Grand Poobah (Joe) says:

Ok, it’s a rental, with heavy usage of both fast forward and mute.

Psyfall (Jon) says:

Do you think that they will delete the dance scene before the wide release? I can only hope

Grand Poobah (Joe) says:

If they do, it’s very suggested that you skip that special feature.

Psyfall (Jon) says:

<shudders both at the idea and at the country song being sung>

Grand Poobah (Joe) says:

<chugs and runs away screaming “IT ALL SUCKS!”>

Psyfall (Jon) says:

<Sheds a tear during the rendition of “Total eclipse of the heart”>

Psyfall (Jon) says:

We need to leave

Psyfall (Jon) says:

Joe?

*End Communication*