Geek vs Life

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Jon says:

It’s such a common thing to say that it has almost become a cliché: the book is better than the movie. Harry Potter and the Order of the Phoenix is alas, no exception to the rule

Grand Poobah (Joe) says:

Yet, when dealing with an entity such as the Potter series, expectations are typically so high, that one can’t hope for something better than a “best parts of the book” version on the big screen.

Jon says:

Unless you have been living under a rock or this is the first thing you read since being thawed out for cryogenic freezing for the past ten years, here is the story in a few short sentences.

Jon says:

Order of the Phoenix is the fifth book in a series of seven planed novels originally aimed at children but that has taken the world by storm, Already 325 million books have been sold and the soon to be released seventh novel, “Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows” is set to hit shelves in your local libraries and anywhere else with shelves on July 20.

Grand Poobah (Joe) says:

1. The Philosopher’s Stone (or Sorcerer’s Stone here in the U.S.): Young boy is rescued from a resentful foster home and introduced into a world of magic, where he is taught by some of the greatest wizards of the time, thus beginning his destiny as “the boy who lived” through an attack of the most evil of wizards.
2. Chamber of Secrets: In his second year of wizarding school, Harry is pitted against the past of the institution, fighting an ancient creature that was the pet of one of the founders of Hogwarts, and learns snippets of the history of Voldemort, the evil wizard.
3. The Prisoner of Azkaban: The third year at Hogwarts reminds Harry of his family’s past, leading through his parent’s journey through school up through their demise, and Harry discovers a family he didn’t know existed.
4. Goblet of Fire: Year four at school brings the Tri-Wizard tournament, an inter-school contest that challenges a representative from each school through a series of tests, but meddling throws Harry into the arena that only 7th years are allowed, but the final challenge brings death and a rebirth.

Grand Poobah (Joe) says:

That just about sums it up. Almost as good as the movies do.

Jon says:

The fifth book (and movie) pick up with another year at Hogwarts in which people do not believe Harry when he announces that Voldemort is back. Harry after being convinced by Ron and Hermione, teaches certain select students how to use magic to defend themselves from the Death Eaters, Voldemort’s acolytes. The students are then dragged by Harry to the ministry of magic to confront them. Of course the book is much more rich than that brief recap, but would you believe that that was pretty the whole movie?

Jon says:

No depth, all plot holes.

Grand Poobah (Joe) says:

For example, the opening of the movie follows Harry before he goes to school, first having a run in with his cousin, Dudley, and then with a couple of naked Dementors. Harry, being the hero, of course rescues Dudley with the help of his trusty wand and a mystical buck, and is promptly summoned to court for underage magic use.

Jon says:

But never is he actually summed to court is he? They expel him from school and that’s it. Friends from the order of the Phoenix show up whisk him away and the next morning he is on his way to court. All without a single mention of it.

Grand Poobah (Joe) says:

That’s right! He was just scolded and expelled by an angry talking letter.

Grand Poobah (Joe) says:

And suddenly, boom! Department of Mysteries.

Jon says:

Then there’s the so-called prophecy which played a much larger role in the book than the film. When watching the movie they almost make it seem like an afterthought.

Grand Poobah (Joe) says:

Both what it was, and who made it.

Jon says:

Exactly.

Jon says:

Seriously, this is barely a spoiler anymore, but what about Sirius’ death?

Grand Poobah (Joe) says:

Which curse was it that was used? And what was up with the veiled archway?

Jon says:

If you read the book you know exactly what happened. They fore-shadowed it for something like ten pages. In the book, Sirius falls back and poof. Gone.

Jon says:

The book actually tells you that its a gateway to the land of the dead. Harry sees his parents on the other side and is lured into wanting to cross the threshold but he is stopped because once you go through, there is no coming back.

Grand Poobah (Joe) says:

The movie, on the other hand, simply goes into slow motion and poof…explanation is gone.

Jon says:

Gah! Books spoil movies for me. Especially poorly plotted movies.

Grand Poobah (Joe) says:

And poor poor Luna. All she got was the crazy nod.

Jon says:

Yes she that she did but I have a confession.

Jon says:

You ready for this?

Grand Poobah (Joe) says:

I’m both sitting, and braced.

Jon says:

Luna is the only thing in this movie that I preferred seeing on screen than reading in the book.

Grand Poobah (Joe) says:

Perhaps it was seeing the vacant stare going along with the awkwardly honest dialog, instead of just reading going “Huh, this is kinda hokey.”

Jon says:

Perhaps…

Grand Poobah (Joe) says:

It’s as if the producers (likely correctly) assumed that either you’ve read all the books or that you’re going with someone who did and will fill in the plots so they don’t have to.

Jon says:

With 325 million books sold, I’d be surprised that an uninitiated would venture to the cineplex to see the movie.

Grand Poobah (Joe) says:

Indeed, it is true. So that leaves it as an audience of those that have read them. I don’t think people are going to walk away from this thinking that it was just ok. They’re either going to love it or hate it.

Jon says:

So what do we do as reviewers? Are we actually reviewing the book or the movie? I would like to think than any movie based on a book should be able to stand on its own two feet personally. I feel like the movie was just an illustrated version of the book I read two years ago.

Jon says:

I mean it was pretty? They created a new location for the film, the sky bridge between buildings, which they then used repeatedly.

Grand Poobah (Joe) says:

So, on it’s own, the movie was greatly lacking. As a supplementary piece, it was decent.

Jon says:

Yes, kind of like those “companion” books that keep popping up. Like the illustrated version of “The Da Vinci Code” (speaking of which, another movie that did not do honor to it’s progenitor).

Grand Poobah (Joe) says:

It’s a matter of too much material in a short span. The books keep getting longer.

Jon says:

I really wanted to like this one, but honestly, I don’t think that movies can survive the curse of the trequel

Jon says:

Unless they go to space, like Friday the 13th or the Leprechaun .

Grand Poobah (Joe) says:

Really? Did you just compare Harry Potter to the Leprechaun?

Jon says:

Yes, yes I did.

Jon says:

Alan Rickman was underused, do you think that might be why the movie wasn’t better?

Grand Poobah (Joe) says:

A movie cannot be made or broken by the performance of a supporting character. It can only make whatever is there better. Alan Rickman just made po(r)tions that would have been intolerable tolerable.

Jon says:

What about the evilly funny new head mistress… what’s her name?

Grand Poobah (Joe) says:

Dolores Umbridge… Very British character.

Jon says:

Indeed.

Jon says:

The creators of Penny Arcade said something that the more I think about it, the truer it sounds.

Grand Poobah (Joe) says:

You mean Gabe and Tycho. (or Mike and Jerry. Real names.)

Jon says:

Yeah them. Anyway, when asked if they would create an animated version of their alter-egos they asked for one stipulation. No voices. Everyone who reads the strip has had a chance to create a mental voice of what the characters sound like, why ruin that perception. Harry Potter is the same for me. I see the visuals in my head as I read. Seeing someone else’s version of my imagination will always be lame.

Jon says:

It ruins my notion of what Harry Potter should be. And this movie, clearly wasn’t that.

Grand Poobah (Joe) says:

Agreed. Now, if you’ll excuse me, I’ve got to go find my scarf and yell things at my tellie.

Jon says:

I will go stroll on a bridge looking like a Abercrombie & Fitch commercial. God save the Queen.

***End Transmission***

Enjoy the trailer below.