Geek vs Life

The other night I caught a sneak preview of Stardust, with my buddy, Mr. Lord. (He refers to me, by my last name. In the age of identity theft, it has been changed to Mr. Hamilton. As you can guess, Mr. Lord is not his real name.)

Mr. Hamilton: So I guess we should start with the synopsis, and all that jazz.

Mr. Lord: I agree. This tends to be the way things are done.

Mr. Hamilton: Stardust takes place in the Eighteen Hundreds in England, in a town called Wall. The town is called this because a wall runs parallel to the town. Across the wall lays a land, a magical land.

Mr. Lord: Slow down. You are getting ahead of the plot.

Mr. Hamilton: Right! In the town of Wall lives a young man, named Tristan, a clerk at a shop. He is love with Victoria-

Mr. Lord: And way out of Tristan’s league. I don’t want say it is a class issue, but it is British. Mustn’t ignore that fact. Ms. Victoria has many suitors, chiefly Humphrey. Humphrey would be a major catch for Victoria, and everyone in the Village knows it.

Mr. Hamilton: Cut to the chase.

Mr. Lord: You are right Mr. Hamilton. Tristan trying to express his love for Victoria, promises her great things, including finding a fallen star descending from the heavens. He will return the star to his beloved.

Mr. Hamilton: The amazing thing is she consents. He has a week to do it, because that is when Humphrey will propose.

Mr. Lord: There is a catch…this is a movie after all. The star has fallen on the other side of Wall.

Mr. Hamilton: And on that side, the star has transformed into a young woman. There is the basic plot in the nutshell, with complications. Like princes wanting the star for kingdoms and evil witches for nefarious purposes-

Mr. Lord: This is a movie after all. I am glad the synopsis is over. We can talk about more important stuff.

Mr. Hamilton: I agree, Mr. Lord. Stardust is a novella written by Neil Gaiman, and illustrated by Charles Vess. It should be pointed out this is a fairy tale. It has fairy tale rules, and uses stock characters to fool us into thinking we know characters.

Mr. Lord: Some would say archetypes. Right off the bat, I have to say this is a companion piece to “The Princess Bride.” It has the same vibe of a story being told, with that ernest sweetness. I just hope more people go see it than the Bride. I love that Lamia (played by Michelle Pfeiffer), an evil witch gets older with each spell she casts. Or the seven princes assassinating each other as they searched for the star.

Mr. Hamilton: Years ago I had a crush on Claire Danes, but it evaporated as she went away. But boy is she yummy in this.

Mr. Lord: For those of you confused, Claire Danes, plays the star named Yvaine.

Mr. Hamilton: Thanks.

Mr. Hamilton: Hey Sienna Miller, who plays Victoria isn’t that hideous either.

Mr. Lord: Yeah, but Yvaine is the most complex chara-

Mr. Hamilton: Out of the cast, the only one I don’t know if I was sold on was Tristan. I know he is supposed to be an average guy, but he comes out kinda boring. Add to the fact, that I think there should be of being more wonder as he crossed into the other world. I would have disbelieved a wee bit, about Yvaine being a star.

Mr. Lord: That just the fairy tale aspect of it. I do agree going with average looking person is a risk, because they tend to be blah. I guess-

Mr. Hamilton: I will say this as Tristan stays longer in Stromhold (the magical land.) he gets more competence and confidence as a character. He may turn out to be a servicable romantic lead in romantic comedies in Britain. I just found that character dull especially considering the other characters and the other actors.

Mr. Lord: Holy Tolstoy does this film have great performers, Peter O’Toole, Ricky Gervais, Rupert Everett-

Mr. Hamilton: But the best is Capt. Shakespeare played by Robert Deniro. He steals the movie…and to contrast that with (Minor Spoiler conversation deleted.)

Mr. Lord: I know…and I love love love the spoofing of the “Taxi Driver” mirror scene. It is hilarious and fresh. Yes, Mr. Deniro stole the flick. I think we should add that the actors named are really cameos. Even Deniro is in a bit part…so if you go in thinking this is Ricky Gervais film or even a huge part you will be disappointed.

Mr. Hamilton: And for those wondering how the book versus movie is…well it is different. It has a more cinematic ending., and a shorter prologue…and in the book no Capt. Shakespeare.

Mr. Lord: Speaking of cinematic, Scotland has never looked more of a beaut. And Matthew Vaughn proves he knows how to make a film. Thank god he doesn’t come from the quick edit school…You actually have some master shots put in there, and coherency in action sequence. I didn’t think I would get that this summer. It seems like this season film makers thought they were writing comic panels. “Oh the audience will fill in what happened here.” I think the last Die Hard would have been better with a real director.

Mr. Hamilton: Stick to this movie.

Mr. Lord: Yes. I endorse this film wholeheartedly. I wouldn’t be surprised if this is the best film of the summer. Maybe not box office terms, but I imagine in DVD rentals…and just rewatchability. You know putting this film in what ever media in twenty years and viewing it. Nothing of the summer blockbusters can claim that. Like discussed earlier, it is a companion piece to “Princess Bride.”

Mr. Hamilton: I agree, and will go on the record, and claim this is the movie to beat, for my favorite of the year. I hope people see this film. Because it won’t win any Oscars. So no prestige…and I don’t see it making that much money. So just like “Princess Bride,” we won’t see something like this for twenty years. Now that saddens me…because twenty years later we will have a “Transformers” reboot, after six sequels. To go even further I see this as a fantasy triptych. First is “Princess Bride,” followed by “Stardust,” and concluding with “Pan’s Labyrinth.” But hey I am a CHID major. I am trained to see themes and connections. Anything you want to add Mr. Lord?

Mr. Lord: See this film! It is a good date movie, or to go with a bunch of girls…trust me.

Mr. Hamilton: Stardust opens everywhere August 10th.