Doing it 80s style: How Hollywood took my memories and shot them in the head
The entertainment industry has been pilfering my memories as of late, and quite frankly it has to stop.
Taking 70’s and 80’s properties and re-vamping them for a new/old audience is nothing new: It’s been in practice since time immortal. We take something old, add a new spin to it and market the crap out of it. It has to end before it goes too far.
Take last summer’s biggest films for example. Most of them originated nearly 30 years ago.
“The Transformers” was a toy line, weekday after-school cartoon that ran from 1984 to 1987 in its original run. Last summer, “Transformers” was remade into a live action film with great special effects; but the story was so full of holes, a Mack truck the size of Optimus Prime could drive through it…sideways. Recently, the cartoon that has been in and out of production for the past 20 years mostly in CGI format was also revamped to make it look more like the old 80’s TV show.
Technically, when you think about it, Spider-Man is a 60s creation by Stan Lee and Steve Ditko in comic book format (Amazing Fantasy #15 Aug. 1962). Then it was turned into a cartoon in 1967 for the first time and then again in 1970, 1977, 1981, 1994, 1999, 2003 and once again in 2008. It seems ridiculous to have to re-thread the same characters time and time again, but lets face it: Spidey is no Hamlet, yet he seems to be redone almost as often as the Dane.
Despite the fact that it was never made into a movie like most other Disney properties, “Pirates of the Caribbean” is actually a ride that opened in the Disneyland theme park in March of 1967. Perhaps we should expect Disney to start a new franchise of movies with McDonald tie-ins: “Tea Cups: The Movie.”
The revamped, bloodier-than-ever “Rambo” hit theaters on January 25. I managed to avoid it when I made it to my local multiplex and went to see “No Country for Old Men” instead. Unfortunately, Rambo was playing in the adjoining theater. The explosions and death screams reverberated through the walls. One reviewer called the movie one the bloodiest movies he has ever seen. Will I eventually see it? Probably, when it plays on TV… and I’m on meds.
I could go on for hours really: “Scooby Doo,” “The Dukes of Hazzard,” “Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles,” “Halloween,” “The Hills Have Eyes,” “Rocky Balboa,” “Superman,” “Batman.” A slew of other films have been made and expect many more to be made in the future.
Maybe we can expect a live action remake of Strawberry Shortcake, My Little Pony, the Gummy Bears and Rainbow Brite if they decide to try and appeal more to a female audience in the near future. Just please, not another He-Man.
My childhood memories are being screwed. I liked them just the way they were. I tried re-watching “Thundercats” recently: It was a childhood staple of mine, with many fond recollections (Thundercats, Oooooo!) That was a mistake. It was bad—awfully bad. Some things are better left as memories and revamping them is just a horrible trend that should end. What happened to originality and creativity?
-Originally published by the Shoreline Community College student paper, the Ebbtide-
Yeah whatever I would love and live action Ducktales and so would everyone else.